How to Potty Train When you Can’t Put your Life on Hold
Is potty training in your future but you aren’t sure how you are going to find the time to fit it in? We have some tips to help you potty train your toddler, without putting your life on hold.
Potty training is not at the top of most moms’ favorite things to do. Unless you want to be changing diapers well into the foreseeable future, though, it’s definitely necessary.
I am right smack in the middle of potty training my 4th child (4 down, 2 to go . . . ) and I’ve learned a few things along the way. There’s some crazy advice out there when it comes to potty training. Most of it requires you to take weeks of your life to do nothing else but potty train.
No one has time for that!
I have a secret to let you in on. Potty training will happen no matter what you do. It may not happen on your time frame, (honestly, how many things with parenting really happen on your time frame), but it WILL happen. One way or another your child will not go to kindergarten in diapers.
Ready to Potty Train?
I have a few rules I follow when it comes to potty training:
- Wait until your child is REALLY ready. I started trying to potty train my oldest son before he even know how to walk. Seriously. The kid looked at a potty and I declared him a genius and ready to be potty trained.Yea. That didn’t work out well. It was another year before we made any sort of progress. I would have saved both of us a lot of stress if I had just waited until he was ready, developmentally and physically.I potty trained dozens of kids during my years as a home daycare provider and I rarely found a child under 2 who was developmentally ready to be fully potty trained.You CAN potty train a younger child but it requires so much hands-on time, both to remind them to use the potty and help them get their pants on and off. If your life is hectic, I’ve found it’s much easier to wait until they can use the potty completely on their own, from start to finish.{Read: What is the “right” age to potty train?}
- Stop worrying about accidents. Accidents are a learning opportunity. I used to get so stressed out worrying about whether or not my kid was going to pee on something while potty training (or worse, pee in public). It seriously caused me so much anxiety.What I found, though, was that every time my children had an accident they were actually one step closer to being potty trained. They learned quickly that if I told them it was time to go potty and they decided to keep playing instead that they’d end up having an accident.I like to use the plastic lined training pants for those first few weeks to limit the mess. If you don’t want the plastic lined kind, you can find training underwear with just an extra layer of absorbant fabric down the center. Cotton underwear can be peed right through and ends up leaving a puddle on the floor. At least with the training pants I just have to deal with a soaked kid.The good news is most things can be cleaned and it’s usually not that big of a deal. Just pay attention so you can catch an accident right away. It’s no fun hunting all over the house for any places your soggy toddler sat down.
Ready to Potty Train?
 When I know my toddler and I are both ready to tackle potty training this is the method I use:
- Get the basics down first – Let your child practice going in the potty for fun for several months before you make a real effort at potty training. I have my kids practice sitting on the potty before getting in the tub so they always know how to pee on the potty before we actually start getting serious about potty training.
- Say goodbye to the diapers and don’t go back – When we are ready to start potty training I don’t mess with any of this back and forth stuff. One of my sons was especially stubborn. I told him they didn’t make diapers in his size anymore (does that make me terrible?).  He was bummed about that but stepped up and never had an accident after that. My daughter just turned 3 and I told her that 3 year olds don’t wear diapers so as soon as she turned 3 we switched to wearing underwear during the day. She was excited because it felt like a big milestone to her. She’s still in diapers at night but she’s been in underwear during the day and doing great.
- Set a timer – In the beginning I always set a timer to remind my kids to go to the bathroom. Kids who have been used to using diapers have to get into the habit of stopping what they are doing to use the bathroom. I start by setting the timer for 30 minutes then increase the time in 30 minute increments if we aren’t having any accidents with the shorter time frame. By the 3rd or 4th day my kids are usually remembering to go to the bathroom on their own. If you want to pass off this responsibility to your child, this potty training watch is an adorable way to do it.
Potty Training when Life Gets Crazy
Ideally, potty training will happen when you have some free time and don’t have any extra stress in your life, BUT sometimes you just can’t find a gap in the craziness to potty train.
With my 3rd son I kept waiting for a nice calm period in our lives to potty train. Every time I wanted to start potty training, I was either pregnant, on bedrest, coping with the death of a child, preparing for a move, or recovering from a move.
Life never slowed down long enough to potty train. Finally I just gave in and potty trained him anyway. He was nearly 4 by the time he trained but he was so ready that he was trained within 2 days — with NO accidents. The process was so much simpler than the year that I spent trying to force my oldest son to potty train before he was really ready.
Sometimes you just have to go for it. Potty train but don’t let it slow your life down. If you can, start potty training on a day that you can be home (even if you still have other things going on) so your child can get a feel for potty training before you head out in public.
When you go out:
- Always have your child use the potty before you leave
- Set a timer for a shorter period of time than when you are at home. You may need some extra time to find a bathroom.
- Take a change of clothes in case of accidents.
- Keep a small kid-sized potty in your car in case you can’t find a clean restroom. I like this simple one from BabyBjorn.
I will say that if potty training by a certain age is important to you, than this method is probably not for you. I’d personally rather deal with diapers for a while longer than daily accidents when my child isn’t quite ready to be potty trained.
If you want to potty train a younger child, I’ve heard great things about this method from Becky at YourModernFamily.com. Moms are having great luck potty training with her e-book, Potty Train in a Weekend.
