I was at the grocery store the other day, wrestling with all 3 of my kids while trying to find the ketchup that I had a coupon for. It probably wasn’t a pretty sight. My 2 year old has decided it is funny to unbuckle himself and stand up in the cart to get a reaction. Let’s face it – grocery shopping with kids never ends well. A store employee, who probably meant well, came up to me and said “How’s mommy doing?”

My first reaction was “I don’t know. I’m not your mommy”, but I bit my tongue and gave her a blank stare instead. My kids, shocked that I wasn’t telling them to stop playing with the pickle jars anymore, stopped what they were doing and stared at the person who had caused this strange silence.

I’ve already made it clear that I dislike the term “mommy blogger”. Yes, I use it – but only when it’s clear that is the only term people are going to recognize. Haven’t you seen the movie The Incredibles where the mom is on the phone talking to an old friend who doesn’t recognize her real name so she says, quietly into the phone with a twinge of embarrassment, “you know . . . Elastigirl”. That’s how I feel when I’m telling people – PR reps specifically – that I’m a mommy blogger.

Since the issue is already a bit of a sore spot for me, the incident at the grocery store stuck in my memory. I’m sure this person meant well, but I cannot for the life of me imagine walking up to a complete stranger and calling them mommy. I rank that right up there with someone rubbing my non-pregnant belly.

I think the word mommy is beautiful, but there are only 3 people who have permission to call me that and even then, one of them is trying to sneak a few “mom’s” in there just to make me feel old.

Reasons my Kids Can Call Me Mommy but You Can’t

1. I did not change your diapers. I’ve changed a lot of diapers – none of them were yours.
2. I have no idea what foods you will allow on your dinner plate or which ones, if any, are allowed to touch each other.
3. I can’t work with you sitting on my lap. It would be awkward for us both and I probably wouldn’t be able to see the computer screen.
4. If you come in my bedroom at 3:30 in the morning and wake me up, I’m not going to let you crawl in bed with me – I’m going to call the police.
5. If I give you chores I actually have to pay you for them.
6. I don’t care if you have cupcakes for dinner.
7. I don’t dream of the wonderful things you are going to do with your life.
8. If you try to peek under the bathroom door while I’m showering, I’m just going to think you’re creepy.
9. I won’t read the same exact book to you 20 times in a row, even if you don’t notice that I skipped a few pages in the middle the last 3 or 4 times I read it.
10. If you make me mad, I’m not going to forgive you just because you’re cute.