Birthday Party Etiquette for Parents and Kids
Children’s birthday parties are not all fun and games. Both parents and children may encounter awkward situations, but if handled correctly, parties can be an opportunity for kids to learn how to be gracious hosts and polite guests. Linda Bibalo, director and founder of Etiquette for All, offers these tactful tips on common party quandaries.
Responding to an invitation.
Host: If you have not received a yes or no from invited guests, it is perfectly acceptable to call them to see if they will be attending.
Guest: An RSVP is really just a simple telephone call to accept or decline an invitation. Children should learn at an early age to do this themselves. Parents can be nearby to help with dialogue, depending on age.
Showing up with another child or sibling.
Host: If a parent shows up with an extra child in tow, it is important to remain a gracious host. You may need to take the parent aside and explain there are no extra party favors, but make it clear the child is welcome to stay. Because this happens more than people would expect, it might be wise to keep a few extra goodie bags on hand.
Guest: It is rude and unfair to send along an extra child who has not specifically been invited to a party. If you find yourself in a situation with an extra child, call the hosts ahead of time to see if they can accommodate the additional guest and offer to make up for the inconvenience by bringing a bag of candy to hand out or paying for that child’s admission.
Gift giving and opening.
Host: If someone arrives without a gift, treat them the same as any other guest. Your child should really just enjoy being with their friends. It is perfectly acceptable to open gifts after everyone has left, but many guests enjoy seeing what the birthday child received.
Guest: Unless an invitation specifies not to bring a gift, it is poor manners to arrive without one. Keep in mind how your child would feel if guests arrived without a present for them.
Paying Guests
Host: With a whole year to plan ahead, now is not the time to ask guests to pay their own way at your child’s party. It is acceptable to set a limit and have guests pay for optional purchases over that amount, such as if you have the party at a ceramics store.
Guest: If your child is invited to a party at a venue such as an ice skating rink, bowling alley or arts and craft store, send some extra money along in case your child wants extra snacks or runs into unexpected expenses.
Length of time for a party.
Host: Depending on the type of party you have planned, two hours is usually sufficient.
Guest: Parents hosting a birthday party work hard to organize games and activities, so arrive on time. If dropping your child off, be sure to return at the designated ending time.
Prepare kids before the party starts.
Host: Before guests arrive, talk to your child about how to be a good host. Remind her to acknowledge and welcome all guests as they arrive. As the host, your child should pay attention to all of the guests, not just her special friends. When guests leave, have your child thank each one for coming.
Guest: Remind your child that today is his friends’ special day. As the guest of honor, the birthday child should go first when it comes to games and will be the center of attention. There may be many other guests, so encourage your child to enjoy being with everyone. When departing, teach your child to say thanks for being invited.
Whether hosting a party or attending as a guest, both adults and children are responsible for conducting themselves appropriately. A little bit of thoughtulness and consideration will go a long way in making the occasion happy for everyone.
by Maria Connor
