College Admissions for Parents: A Survival Guide

College admissions can be a terrifying process for kids (not to mention parents). Where should my child apply? What does her SAT score mean? What if she doesn’t get in? How are we going to pay tuition? Will she be happy? Is your blood pressure rising yet? If it isn’t, your kids are still safely in elementary school. But if you’ve got a child on the cusp of leaving the nest, keep reading. It could be good for your health.

Remember, a College Acceptance Letter is Almost Guaranteed.

Your child WILL attend college if she chooses to do so. Really. Entrance into a great college is not as competitive as the media (and other parents) can make it seem. Keep your stress level in check. If you’re freaking out, your child will see it and freak out, too. If you exude confidence, your child will be confident.  Assure your child that the process will have a happy ending. So take a deep breath, and remember this should be thrilling not crushing!

Keep these Tips in Mind

• Start early! The number one complaint I hear from students and parents is that they wished they hadn’t put off the process until senior year. Use summer breaks to visit colleges, prep for admissions tests, and research schools.
• Get organized. Getting into college is time consuming and loaded with deadlines.  Put together a calendar with SAT/ACT administrations, prep courses, admissions deadlines and acceptance dates.  A shared Google calendar is convenient, and allows everyone to see what’s on the horizon.
• Sign up for a college search dedicated email address. The number one reason is that your child’s personal email account may not have an appropriately serious name.  You don’t want your child to be the student the admissions office remembers for her email: barbiegirl47@I’m-immature.com.  Another great reason for a college specific email address is that her personal account may be inundated with emails from schools vying for her attention!  When students take the PSAT as a junior, they are given the option to release their email address to colleges that might be interested in someone with her scores.  If she does well, it could be a flood of emails.  Keep it contained in one account, and you’ll save yourself some grief.
• Help your child put together a list of colleges to consider. She may want to apply where her friends are applying. The only school on her radar may be YOUR alma mater (admit it, you’ve been grooming her since birth).  Encourage her to broaden her search beyond the obvious.  There are plenty of college gems around the country just waiting to be discovered.  But when it comes to actually applying, keep the final total around ten. Just don’t take this bad college admissions advice.
• Absolutely discuss the financial realities of college.  While the sticker price of tuition shouldn’t dissuade anyone from applying (some of the most expensive colleges are able to provide the most financial aid), the aid offer may rule a school in or out in the end.  Just be sure to fill out financial aid forms promptly.  At some schools, financial aid is first come, first served, so don’t delay.

Tips for Subduing your Inner Helicopter Parent

• Don’t wrest the steering wheel from your child’s hands. Trust her to meet deadlines and make good choices. She’s going to have to be responsible to be a successful college student, so let her start now.  If she can’t self-manage applications and deadlines, she probably isn’t college material, right?
• I shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t complete the application and/or write the essay.  Colleges know when essays aren’t student written, so keep your hands off.  If your child asks for help, refer her to her English teacher or another disinterested party.

Keep your Expectations in Check

• Please, please don’t go into the college admissions process with unrealistic expectations.  If you’re honest with yourself and your child, you’ll avoid heartache.  Colleges publish average SAT scores and GPAs so you’re going to know which choices are likely to admit.  There’s even a new Facebook app to help you predict your child’s admission chances.  There’s nothing wrong with applying to one “reach” school, but the majority of her choices should have at least a 50% chance of admission.  The good news is that the vast majority of colleges accept 50% or more, so there really is a place for everyone!

Ready to take on the journey? Need more information? You can find a ton of college and SAT advice on my blog.

Jennifer Cohen is President and Chief Word-Nerd of Word-Nerd.com, an SAT vocabulary tutorial website.  She is a primary contributor to The Fat Envelope blog, and aspires to bring sanity back to the college admissions process.  She is also an experienced SAT and PSAT tutor.