Pregnancy Guide – Week 17
Is daddy-to-be unsure of is role at this point?
As you begin to have a more physical display of your pregnancy (no doubt you are no longer able to hind your baby bump), daddy-to-be might begin to feel less and less like this is happening to him too. Some men just don’t “know” what is expected of them. Pregnancy is a specifically feminine event in life, and sometimes the males have issues finding their place in it all. Although I am not of the school of thought that “we” are pregnant, you still want your spouse to be taking an active role in your pregnancy. Studies have proven that this helps with the bonding process after birth. Here are some ideas on how to keep him involved:
- Have him join you at the prenatal visits, maybe not all of them but the big ones, like ultrasounds. This allows him to take part in the fun stuff – like hearing the heartbeat – as well as build a report with the OB/GYN, so that they will not be meeting for the first time at the delivery.
- Have him arrange for the birthing classes, hospital tours, etc. This way you both have a say in the types of classes as well as the when and where.
- Task him with locating a pediatrician. This can be a big process that requires interviews with doctors as well as coordination with the insurance, so it is sure to make papa feel useful.
- Create a journal for the baby, with entries from both Mom and Dad. This is a chance to “talk” to your child as they are created. Talk about your hopes and dreams, your concerns and fears, etc.
- Give him jobs to do, and not unimportant jobs, but necessary ones. Like putting together the baby furniture, or attending the car seat safe installation seminar.
- Consider a co-ed baby shower, to share this joyous occasion with all of your friends and family.
- You also want to be sure to include him in all of the big decisions like the baby’s name, or whether to have a home or hospital birth.
The important thing is to start being a family even before junior arrives. This way there is one less role change when the time comes.
You will also want to give daddy-to-be a chance to discuss their own fears that may be centered around what’s to come. If he is going to be your birthing coach, make sure that he has had all of his questions answered so that he can feel as comfortable as possible, because this will allow him to be the best coach possible.
Word of the Week
Bonding – noun Psychology, Animal Behavior . a relationship that usually begins at the time of birth between a parent and offspring and that establishes the basis for an ongoing mutual attachment. (www.dictionary.com)
